I just realised something tonight. There is absolutely no fucking way that I'm over my EX. It's been a year and a half since he broke up with me and ever since I've been lying to my friends about being over him. I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be.
My friends, I am truly sorry for lying to you about this. I thought I was over him but I just cant stop thinking about him now. I cant stop wondering if he thinks about me. Does he? Why should he? He's not some stupid little girl that keeps dwelling on the past, that's me.
I don't know what to do with myself. How can I stop thinking about him? How can I let these feelings go? I have someone new in my life and I'm just gonna fuck it up if I don't stop thinking about him but I can't. I just can't. He's there, always there. In the back of my mind. All those memories coming back. All the times we spent together. All the fun that we had.
Will i ever be the same? Will you ever get out of my mind? Will i fuck things up? All these questions, and more, run through my head each passing moment.
I'm not over you, Lewis.
I'm sorry, my friends, for lying to you about this. Now the secrets out.
Jacinta <3
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