<3 This week <3

I had been feeling very down not too long ago (last wedk I think) and now I have really perked up and stopped giving a shit about what had happened. If something good comes out of it; awesome! If not; who really cares anyway? This week has been a really good week and I hope next week is the same, or even better!

Anyway, I have to go I'm on my way home from school band practice, I just thought I should let y'all know what's been happening.

Have a good evening/night/morning/day/afternoon!
<3 Jacinta

"My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations" - John Green

My mind's a cluttered mess. A place you don't want to see. A home you don't want to have. The stress of school to the frustration of loving someone, it's all in there; everything. I don't know what I'm thinking half the time. Even trying to write this is difficult because I can't bring any one thought to the surface to write down properly so I'm just gonna write down whatever comes to my head and it probably won't make sense.

(By the way Not every line is about the same 'thing')

He doesn't like me.
I really like him though.
But look what he's done.
I don''t like that teacher
I'm not learning anything
It's too hard
Oh my god
I don't want to be around anymore
I want to change my classes but I want to keep some of them but if I change one class I won't be able to keep some of the others
I hate this
I hate you
I hate life
I wish everything was easier
I'm a fuck up
I shouldn't have done that
What more can I do?
I love him
I feel bad about a lot of things
I don't remember what it's like not to be overwhelmed with thoughts
I wish everything was better again
I've always been like this
I freak out too much
Who are you to tell me what I can or can't do to my OWN body!?
I want my nose pierced
*sigh*
I'm hungry
I'm too skinny
I need help
I wish it was the weekend
I wish I never had to go to school again
I have to work next Friday night, which reminds me, I have to ask mum if I'm allowed to or not
What is life?
Chocolate...
You're a funny one :')
Talking... HAHA What a funny thing!
I miss you so much more than you think...
I just want your hug
I need you more than ever
At least I'm not ignoring you like some other people have
Why do you have to work so much?
I'm a horrible person to hang out with
Why would anyone want to go out with me
I don't like all this homework
Too many text books!
*sigh*
How do I even have friends?
BLOODY SPACE KEY!

These are only some of my thoughts but I think you get the picture...

Confused? There you go, you now know sorta what it feels like to be me...

Let down again.

All I want to do is hang out with you but you keep hurting yourself so you can't walk. I know you don't mean to do it but I just want to see you. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I just want a hug from you, a kiss from you, I want to be able to look into your eyes again.

I was looking forward to tomorrow but now there's nothing to look forward to so why wake up tomorrow? Can I just skip to Friday so I can get my hair cut? And then skip from there to the next time I get to see you?

I haven't been feeling very good lately and no one knows that. But I just want your hug. Your hug will make me feel better, I know, it's worked before.

Just please don't hurt yourself again so we can hang out. I need you more than anything right now...





Disclaimer: That probably didn't make much sense but "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations" meaning; whatever I'm thinking I can't write down because I'm thinking too much.