I Just Realised...

I just realised something tonight. There is absolutely no fucking way that I'm over my EX. It's been a year and a half since he broke up with me and ever since I've been lying to my friends about being over him. I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be.

My friends, I am truly sorry for lying to you about this. I thought I was over him but I just cant stop thinking about him now. I cant stop wondering if he thinks about me. Does he? Why should he? He's not some stupid little girl that keeps dwelling on the past, that's me.

I don't know what to do with myself. How can I stop thinking about him? How can I let these feelings go? I have someone new in my life and I'm just gonna fuck it up if I don't stop thinking about him but I can't. I just can't. He's there, always there. In the back of my mind. All those memories coming back. All the times we spent together. All the fun that we had.

Will i ever be the same? Will you ever get out of my mind? Will i fuck things up? All these questions, and more, run through my head each passing moment.

I'm not over you, Lewis.

I'm sorry, my friends, for lying to you about this. Now the secrets out.

Jacinta <3

My Poems

I like to express my feelings through poetry now. I find it a lot easier to show how I really feel. Some of my best poems are written in times when I'm not feeling the best. Most of my poems are thoughts that I've actually had or what I think other people are thinking.

I keep all my poems in different places. My Ipod, random pieces of paper in a display folder, and on Facebook. People shouldn't get too worried about my poems. They're just words on paper. You never know, in the future I could make money off these poems.

Just a quick update because I'm home from school because I'm sick. Hopefully I'll get better soon.

Jacinta <3
DFTBA

You've Done It This Time

Hello, my lovely people. How are we all? I'm going good.

Why is writing blog posts so hard when all you want to say is hateful things but you know if you do it'll all come flying back at you? Why do I feel the need to write those things? Because that's how F fucking feel. I...just......GAHHHHHHH

WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT!
THIS IS MY LIFE NOT YOURS. YOU CAN NOT DECIDE WHAT I DO. THAT'S MY JOB SO FUCK YOU.

Do not tell me what I can and can not wear. Do not tell me to wake up when I'm already awake. Do not tell me that I look sad because I already know that I look fucking sad. I have enough shit to worry about without you telling me what to do. We used to be good friends. That's right USED to be. Not anymore.

Don't talk to me. Shut your mouth. You think we've sorted it out, we haven't. You haven't even talked to me about it. You've got the wrong idea dude. Get over it. I don't care.

I'm sorta glad that I wont be seeing you until Tuesday because of the long weekend. It gives me enough time to prepare myself to hold in all this anger that's gonna come in the week ahead.

You've done it this time man.

Goodbye

Jacinta